The Relationally Intelligent Church in the Postmodern Context -Part 1
The Relationally Intelligent Church
The world is changing daily and the church must respond to these changes within the context of ongoing grace filled relationships. The struggle for the church is that it is seen as an organization that operates on selective grace. From an outsider’s viewpoint, there is grace for those who follow the church’s code and judgment for those whose worldview is different than those within the church. These realities create distance, and that distance grows as the church pushes culture away, and as the church continues to push away, culture changes all the more. The more culture changes the harder it becomes for the church to identify with, connect with and relate to the surrounding community. It is now time for the church to become more relationally intelligent and look for new ways to connect with culture, more specifically, postmodern culture.
Shoreline Community Church
“Relational intelligence is the ability to learn, understand and comprehend knowledge as it relates to interpersonal dynamics.”[1] Said differently, relational intelligence is having the aptitude to understand yourself while understanding others (your friends, co-workers or an audience) and having the ability to move forward relationally, keeping in mind what is best for others. I believe that the church can grow in the area of relational intelligence and the key is to remember what is best for others. Let me say it this way, the best thing for the church to do relationally is to remember what is best for others and then to live like the church believes people matter.
The prolonged inability of the church to connect with culture has created a number of blind spots that we need to shed light on for a moment. Before I list these blind spots I call “The seven deadly sins of the church in the postmodern transition” let me tell you that this list comes from a series of interviews I did with missional thinkers connected to the Assemblies of God in the Seattle area.[2] The first blind spot or deadly sin is insider language that is divisive and only stretches the gap between church and culture. The second is unspoken expectations that cause spiritual seekers to feel like failures when they don’t live up to an invisible code. The third blind spot is a welcoming exterior and an unwelcoming interior. A fourth blind spot is reliance on the pastor’s message to make people feel spiritual. A fifth blind spot is a lack of personal contact with people outside of the Christian “bubble.”[3] The sixth blind spot is a lack of cultural awareness about the “glocal community”[4](global and local) The final blind spot for our list, although not the last “deadly sin” for the church would be the poor use of newer means of communication within the local church. Understanding these blind spots will help the church to be more constructive on the mission.
Jesus is the model for the mission today and His life in the Gospels, gives us an illustration of how to relate intelligently with culture. A few examples of Jesus’ “Relational Intelligence” would be the “unspiritual” miracle at the Wedding at Cana (John 2), His compassion at the Feeding of the 5000 (Matthew 14), and His heart for children (Mark 9 & 10). I believe that the church can and must relate intelligently within the context of the current postmodern transition.[5] Understanding the blind spots of the church is essential to reducing inappropriate and unproductive interactions with culture. Steven B. Sample, the President of USC would challenge the church to “Think Gray”[6] as a way of connecting with culture. This idea probably scares the common church attendee, but I would say that thinking gray does not mean that we believe gray. Thinking gray is about a creative approach to reaching a creative culture. Sample goes on to say that, “The key is to break free […] from conventional thinking so as to bring your natural creativity […] to the fore.” I would add that a relationally intelligent church is creative and unforced creativity is a major key in capturing the hearts and minds of postmodern culture.
[1] Saccone, Steve. Relational Intelligence: How Leaders Can Expand Their Influence Through a New Way of Being Smart. San Francisco: Jossey Bass, 2009. pg, 18
[2] Bill Berger, All Saints Seattle September 2009. Don Ross, Creekside Church, Mount Lake Terrace, September 2009. Craig Mathison, Lead Netweaver @ TEVO, September 2009. Bob Stone, Shoreline Community Church, September 2009. Josh Siegel, Shoreline Community Church, Shoreline, October 2009. Jana Detrick, Shoreline Community Church, October 2009.
[3] Davis, Wes. Jesus Apprentice: What it Means to Follow Jesus. Silverdale WA Independent, 2005. pg 74
[4] Stetzer, Ed and Putman, David. Breaking the Missional Code: Your Church Can Become a Missionary in Your Community, Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 2006. pg 5
[5] Ibid., pg 7
[6] Sample, Steven B. The Contrairians Guide to Leadership, San Francisco: Jossey Bass, 2002 pg 7